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Celebrating the Beauty You Might Not See

photo of woman wearing black lace panties and a black lace long sleeve top by TK Boudoir

In a world that constantly bombards us with images of perfection and unattainable beauty standards, it’s easy to find ourselves falling into the trap of self-criticism, especially when it comes to our bodies. By the time we reach our 30s, we’re constantly searching for all the tips on how to increase confidence, right? Today, I need to share a powerful truth: Your confidence isn’t gone. It’s just hiding, waiting for you to bring it back out.

photo of woman wearing black zip up swimsuit by TK Boudoir

Recognize Your Worth Through Others’ Eyes

One of our clients who, by all accounts, could be considered an absolute icon of beauty in our community, is the perfect example of this. Despite this adoration, she confessed to us that she’s incredibly self-conscious about a specific part of her body. Ironically, this same body part is the highlight of one of our most popular photos, the one pinned by other women as the epitome of boudoir photography. This is a stark reminder of the massive gap that can often exist between our self-perception and the admiration others may hold for us, especially from other women or our very own partners.

The Surprising Truth About Plastic Surgery

We also recently talked with a professional model who struggled deeply with her body image for years. How to increase confidence was constantly on her mind, and she truly believed plastic surgery was the answer. But after the surgery was complete, she found that it didn’t actually bring the satisfaction she hoped for. So she made the decision to embark on a journey of self-affirmation, making a conscious effort to hype herself up every day, just as she did to her friends. Over time, this practice of self-love has completely transformed her life. Not only does she love her body now, but she’s also able to help other women achieve the same transformation.

Acceptance Is a Journey, Not a Destination

And our own St Louis photographer, Ashley, just experienced a 60lb weight loss journey. She told us that despite knowing she has lost that much weight and can see it in photos, she’s unable to see the loss in the mirror. She has struggled because she doesn’t believe the compliments she receives from her husband, her friends, and even strangers. Even though her clothes literally don’t fit her anymore, she still believes she is 60lb heavier. She has been working on speaking in a neutral tone towards her body, which has helped her inch towards self-love and body positivity. A journey that takes time but is so necessary for our mental health.

photo of woman wearing a white sheet by TK Boudoir

How to Increase Confidence: Embrace What You Have

These stories are powerful because they underline a critical lesson about self-perception and external validation. The features you might scrutinize in the mirror every day could very well be the same ones that someone else admires. What you see as a flaw might be seen by others as a striking feature or a part of your unique charm. This realization isn’t just about accepting our bodies but about recognizing the disconnect that often exists between how we view ourselves and how the world views us.

So, if there’s a part of you that you’ve been critical of, remember that self-criticism can often cloud our perceptions, preventing us from seeing the beauty that others celebrate in us every day. It’s a journey, not a quick fix, but learning to view ourselves through a kinder lens is a profound step toward genuine self-acceptance and love. Remember, the key to how to increase confidence is not found in chasing after what you lack but in cherishing and enhancing what you already possess.


TK Boudoir is a luxury boudoir studio with locations in St Louis, MO & Denver, Colorado for all women seeking to rediscover their beauty, just as they are.

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